Men's Sexual Health & Confidence
Sex therapy for sexual function, desire, confidence, pornography concerns, intimacy, and sexual behavior.
Men receive powerful messages about how sexuality is supposed to work. Men are often expected to want sex, initiate confidently, understand what a partner wants, maintain an erection, control ejaculation, and perform consistently.
These expectations can transform sex into an evaluation of competence. A change in erections, ejaculation, desire, or confidence may begin to feel like a personal failure. Anxiety increases, attention shifts toward monitoring the body, and sexual experiences become increasingly pressured.
Many of the men I work with are capable, thoughtful, and successful in other areas of life. Sexual difficulties can feel especially destabilizing when identity and self-worth have become connected to control, confidence, or performance.
Men’s sex therapy provides a candid, respectful, and clinically informed place to understand what is happening and develop a practical path forward.
You Are Welcome Here
Men can bring the full range of their sexual experiences into therapy.
We can speak openly about erections, ejaculation, orgasm, masturbation, pornography, fantasy, sexual orientation, monogamy, attraction, desire, shame, infidelity, sexual agreements, pleasure, and behavior that feels difficult to control.
I welcome men across sexual orientations, identities, cultures, relationship structures, and levels of sexual life that reflects your health, relationships, and values.
Common Reasons Men Seek Sex Therapy
Erectile Difficulties and Performance Anxiety
Erectile changes often create a powerful feedback loop. Concern about the erection increases monitoring, monitoring reduces engagement with pleasure, and each fluctuation creates further anxiety.
Therapy can help you understand the physical, psychological, relational, and situational factors influencing erections. Treatment may address performance pressure, attention, arousal, confidence, communication, partner responses, and sexual expectations.
Medical evaluation may also be incorporated to assess health, hormonal, vascular, neurological, or medication-related factors.
Premature or Rapid Ejaculation
Ejaculating sooner than desired can create frustration, embarrassment, avoidance, and concern about a partner’s satisfaction. Attempts to control ejaculation through distraction or muscular tension may further reduce pleasure and connection.
Treatment may focus on arousal awareness, pacing, regulation, communication, anxiety reduction, and expanding the sexual experience. Partners can participate in creating a more collaborative and satisfying approach to sexual activity.
Delayed Ejaculation or Difficulty Reaching Orgasm
Some men experience delayed ejaculation, inconsistent orgasm, or difficulty reaching orgasm during partnered sex. Orgasm may occur more readily during masturbation or under highly specific conditions.
We may explore stimulation patterns, masturbation technique, pornography use, medication, arousal, attention, anxiety, relationship dynamics, and comfort receiving pleasure. Treatment supports greater flexibility and a broader range of satisfying erotic experiences.
Changes in Desire
Sexual desire fluctuates across the lifespan. Stress, depression, anxiety, medication, hormones, health, relationship dynamics, aging, and changing erotic interests can all affect desire.
Some men experience reduced desire and feel confused by the change. Others experience strong desire that creates tension within a relationship. Therapy helps clarify your pattern of desire, the conditions that support it, and the meanings you and your partner attach to sexual frequency.
Pornography and Masturbation Concerns
Pornography and masturbation can serve many functions, including pleasure, fantasy, novelty, exploration, relaxation, emotional regulation, and relief from loneliness or stress.
Assessment examines frequency, context, motivation, impact, sexual functioning, relationship agreements, values, and your capacity to make intentional choices. Treatment may include changing habitual patterns, expanding sources of pleasure, strengthening regulation, addressing secrecy, and developing clear sexual agreements.
Men experiencing sexual behavior that feels difficult to control can also explore my dedicated Compulsive Sexual Behavior services.
Sexual Confidence
Sexual confidence grows through self-knowledge, communication, presence, flexibility, and the ability to remain connected with pleasure during moments of uncertainty.
Therapy may help you communicate what you want, receive feedback, tolerate vulnerability, expand your erotic repertoire, and respond constructively when your body behaves differently than expected.
Confidence also develops through experience. Structured exercises between sessions allow you to practice attention, communication, touch, arousal awareness, and flexibility in a private setting.
Monogamy, Sexual Agreements, and Integrity
Some men struggle with monogamy, repeated infidelity, sexting, pornography agreements, or competing desires for security and novelty.
Therapy provides a structured setting to clarify your values, understand the needs expressed through your behavior, and develop agreements you can follow with integrity. We may also address attachment, emotional regulation, opportunity, resentment, erotic conflict, and the role of secrecy.
Intimacy and Sexual Communication
Many men have had limited opportunities to develop language for sexual needs, vulnerability, pleasure, and emotional experience.
Therapy can help you express preferences clearly, listen to a partner’s experience, navigate differences in desire, and remain emotionally engaged during difficult conversations. These skills support both sexual confidence and relational intimacy.
Sexuality Across Aging, Illness, and Life Changes
Sexuality evolves through changes in health, medication, hormones, physical ability, relationships, and age.
Treatment can help you adapt to erectile changes, recovery from surgery, chronic illness, changes in sensation, fertility experiences, shifts in desire, and evolving definitions of masculinity. Sexual pleasure remains available through many forms of touch, arousal, imagination, intimacy, and erotic expression.
Understanding Your Erotic Mind
Every man develops a distinctive erotic world shaped by early experiences, fantasy, culture, relationships, longing, inhibition, memory, and imagination.
Your strongest attractions and fantasies may contain useful information about the emotional experiences that make sexuality compelling. Some men associate eroticism with freedom, surrender, power, admiration, transgression, connection, novelty, competence, or acceptance.
Therapy can help you understand these patterns and integrate them into a sexual life governed by consent, honesty, responsibility, and choice.
Therapy can help you understand these patterns and integrate them into a sexual life governed by consent, honesty, responsibility, and choice.
A Sexual-Health Framework
Greater erotic self-knowledge supports clearer communication, more intentional decisions, and a
Consent
Nonexploitation
Honesty
Shared values
Protection from sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy
Pleasure
These principles provide a practical framework for evaluating sexual choices and developing a personal vision of sexual health.
They also create space for honest conversations about desire, fantasy, pornography, masturbation, monogamy, sexual diversity, and behavior that feels difficult to control.
How I Work
I begin with a comprehensive assessment of your sexual-health concerns, history, goals, and current context.
We may explore:
The development and course of the concern
Medical conditions, medications, hormones, and substance use
Sexual experiences and education
Cultural, familial, and religious messages
Relationship and attachment patterns
Current sexual behavior and agreements
Pornography and masturbation patterns
Sources of anxiety, shame, or avoidance
Erotic interests, fantasies, and sources of pleasure
Emotional-regulation patterns
Personal values and your vision of sexual health
Together, we develop a focused treatment plan.
Treatment may include:
Sexual-health education
Strategies for reducing performance anxiety
Mindfulness and arousal awareness
Communication and assertiveness skills
Function-specific psychosexual exercises
Non-demand touch and sensate focus
Self-regulation and urge-management skills
Partner involvement
Coordination with physicians, urologists, pelvic-health specialists, or other healthcare professionals
Sessions consist entirely of conversation. Psychosexual exercises are completed privately between sessions.
What You Can Expect From Me
I bring more than a decade of experience specializing in sexual health and relationships, along with a PhD in Human Sexuality and certification as an AASECT Sex Therapist and Sex Therapy Supervisor.
My style is direct, collaborative, practical, and grounded in evidence-informed sexual-health treatment. I ask specific questions, offer clear feedback, and help translate insight into concrete change.
You will have room to speak plainly, examine difficult subjects, and develop a more confident and intentional relationship with your sexuality.
In-person men’s sex therapy in Boulder, Colorado, and telehealth throughout Colorado and New York.