What a success! Thank you to all who attended our workshop and The Niwot Inn & Spa for the beautiful space! Intimate Inquiries, LLC was honored and thrilled to host Dr. Betsy Cairo with Look Both Ways, Inc., an expert in reproductive health and excellent presenter for sharing her knowledge and passion for education parents and youth on reproductive health & making informed decisions.
November marks the beginning of the holiday season rush. We are on the cusp of a cacophony of holiday music, tables full of filling feasts, and an overflow of holiday advertising and family cards in our mailboxes. Carols, candles, consuming of all kinds are commonly associated with this time of the year. For some, the holidays symbolize a time of joy, community, food and fun, while for others it is a sharp reminder of what they have lost or a bitter acknowledgment of what they may have but do not want.
As we shift into gear, be mindful to recognize that we all carry different stories and experiences, all significant and meaningful.
Practice being mindful of never assuming, staying curious, and trying to be open- hearted to yourself and those around you.
Invite a lonely friend over for a friendsgiving feast.
Wrap a gift and give it to a local charity.
Make a contribution to a foundation that supports a cause you are passionate about.
Make a commitment to your health by attending your favorite activity throughout this time of gluttony.
Be gentle with yourself and the people around you. Attend to the positive and actively turn away from the negative.
What do you need this Holiday Season?
Check out this article to contemplate your holiday intentions.
Wishing warmth and contentment to you!
Hello Intimate Inquirers,
Fall is in full swing as daylight savings shifted our schedules last week. The trees are more vulnerable in their leafless fashion, the temperatures are plummeting and the impending holiday fever is being blown in from the rockies. As autumn swallows the last of the summer season, other large shifts are underway.
My Niwot Office for Intimate Inquiries will be out of commission for the month of November.
For the next several weeks, I will be seeing clients at a satellite office in North Boulder.
My new temporary address is 2475 Broadway Boulder, Colorado 80304.
My schedule during this time of construction will be:
Monday - Wednesday 2pm - 7pm
Thursday 10am - 5pm.
Contact me for directions, questions, and appointments.
Your patience and flexibility is appreciated during this time of business evolution. Thank you for adjusting with this temporary inconvenience.
Join me to Practice the Art & Science of Mental Hygiene
Are you craving a calm mind and a more balanced outlook? Sign up for this 2 week intensive group!
2 Week Mindfulness Bootcamp
Days: Tuesday & Thursday
Dates: 7/18, 7/20, 7/25, 7/27
I am thrilled to invite you to my upcoming mindfulness group startin this July.
Come join this rigorous 2-week mindfulness group to gain effective tools to help you attain more mental and emotional health. Mindfulness can provide relief and help manage depression, anxiety, grief and stress. This group will leave you feeling restored, renewed and refreshed! This is an educational, process oriented group. This group will meet twice a week, Tuesday & Thursday evenings for two weeks. During these two weeks, participants will learn new mindfulness exercises, have accompanying resources, and gain practice exercising these skills and processing them in a group setting.
What is it?
This 2 week rigorous mindfulness group will provide effective tools to help you attain more mental and emotional health. Some key features include:
• Attain more mental and emotional health
• Manage depression, anxiety, grief, and stress
• Learn easy & effective mindfulness tools
• Accompanying resources to take home and practice
This group will leave you feeling restored, renewed and refreshed! This is an educational, process oriented group that will be facilitated by Auburn Meisner, LMSW.
Space limited to 8 participants.
Dates: Tuesday & Thursday's on 7.18, 7.20, 7.25, 7.27
Time: 6-7:30 PM
Location: 376 2nd Ave Niwot Colorado, 80503
Early Bird $250 before July 4th
Register Now ›
For More information Contact Me:
Root Down to Spring Up
Illustration by Christopher Silas Neal
Another winter has come and gone.
It is a beautiful bluebird day in Colorado. The days are stretching their arms growing longer with each sunset and the sun is melting the pristine snow into the earth, feeding the restless life waking from its winter slumber beneath Earth’s surface.
As winter is tucking itself in and spring is slowly arising, a sense of transition is in the air.
Spring is loaded with expectations of renewal, hope, life, and freshness. In order for our own growth to spring up through the surface and show itself in all of its glory, it is important to have rooted down into our strength, our own truth, and a compassion of self-acceptance of who we are. These roots remain unseen but are strongly felt.
How do we get these strong roots?
Some people are are blessed with strong roots due to functional, loving family life, health, and a positive perspective, others grow their roots with resilience, community support, and much tenacity in personal growth. These roots are our lifeline into our authenticity. They keep us rooted into our values, our identity and nourish our mind body and soul.
When these roots are present and strong, it is easier to weather life’s storms with more ease and flexibility. When life brings storms of adversity and hardship, these roots will allow us to bend without breaking.
5 Tips to Strengthen your Roots in preparation for your Spring Bloom:
1. Know your internal compass and where it is pointing, then follow it!
Take the time to explore your values and beliefs. What do you know is true for you? Define your values and align your actions with them. This will give you a sense of authentic integrity as you will be living a life that is in accordance with your personal truth.
2. Recognize when you are wondering far from your path, and gently re-direct.
Bringing a sense of compassionate awareness will help you recognize when you are starting to get off route. The “compassionate” part is extremely important, as it allows you to objectively notice when you are getting off course without self-loathing and judgement. This gentleness is a practice of love and light rather than darkness and punishment. It is important to look at yourself with soft eyes and gently nudge yourself towards home.
3. Get into a ritual of self-care
Find out what you need to feel good and do it. A universal prescription of eating healthy, getting regular exercise, getting adequate sleep, minimizing stress and optimizing relationships and purpose through work or school are a great place to start. Even slight changes can create major shifts in your life. Whether you take 15 minutes in the morning to sip tea quietly, do yoga, take a long shower, meditate, walk, call a friend or family member regularly, play music, make yourself a nice meal, schedule a social date, schedule a lone date, or read a book, find something that you can commit to. I ask people what is a “non-negotiable ritual” they already have in place. For me, I brush and floss my teeth every morning and night. Pick a time to do self-care and commit to doing it weekly (if not daily).
4. Show up
Humans function best when we feel useful, needed, important and driven by a purpose. Whatever it is that you do, find purpose in it and show up. Sometimes getting to work or finding the energy to go to the gym or get in the mood for sex can feel daunting and overwhelming. Yet, once we get there we rarely regret the workout, the shared intimacy or fulfilling a role in which provides us with meaning. Find an environment that values you as a person as well as your skill set and start engaging in that environment.
5. Visualize what you want
Figuring out what you want, where you want to go, who you want to be, and who you want to be with are extremely challenging and fun ventures. Exploring what it is that really makes you tick and creating a vision of what you want your life to look like will help you find the steps to get there. Knowing what you want is powerful. Having direction, focus, and drive will propel you to step into your best self. Knowing what you want is not always so simple, as it tends to be a moving target, shifting and changing as you grow. Knowing what you want is important but also having the flexibility to adapt and modify your goals as you and your vision evolve.
For more information or support strengthening your root foundation, please call or email to schedule. email@example.com
On the evening of November 15th, Intimate Inquiries presented a sex positive panel to the community at The Painted Primrose. It was a wonderful and interactive evening with a higher turn out than we had seats for!
Click here to read the wonderful article that Pam Martin wrote after attending the event and interviewing some of the presenters and audience members. Here is the article quoted from the Left Hand Courier's website:
Photo & Article by Pam Martin
"Talk Dirty to Me" Panel Sheds Light on a Charged Subject
A panel discussion on sexual health was held Tuesday, Nov. 15 at the Painted Primrose in Cottonwood Square. Facilitated by local sex therapist Auburn Meisner, topics for the evening focused on physical and emotional barriers to intimacy within the context of healthy relationships. Practitioners on the panel discussed how treatments in their areas of expertise—including chiropractic and acupuncture care, as well as physical and talk therapies—can achieve lasting benefits in the quality of lives of their respective clientele.
Panelists talked about how stress impacts the population’s collective sympathetic nervous system, inhibiting our bodies’ ability to be open to, and experience pleasure. Chiropractic adjustments and acupuncture treatments, according to Dr. Hillary Rowenhurst and licensed acupuncturist Jeff Brew, can help rebalance the sympathetic nervous system, allowing the fight-or-flight response to relax its grip, enhancing physical and emotional wellbeing.
Rowenhurst kicked off the discussion with a case study about a 50-year-old male client who’d come to see her about lower back pain. She explained that chiropractic treatment is about keeping the nervous system healthy and functioning, and adjustments for this client, specifically to his L3 vertebrae, allowed for more blood flow to the critical area. His pain subsided and for the first time in a while he was able to maintain an erection, with beneficial results to his relationship and sense of self.
Lynn Schulte-Leech, a physical therapist who specializes in women’s health, talked about postpartum issues that can adversely affect a new mother’s pelvic area. Muscles become strained during birth, especially challenging ones—the sit bones swing out to the sides, the sacrum’s affected, she explained, or there’s scar tissue resulting from vaginal tearing or Cesarean section. The tissue in the region becomes immobilized, resulting in pain during intercourse. A very simple exam followed up with exercises for the muscles in the pelvic floor, which help tissues to relax and loosen up, can make radical improvements in reducing or eliminating pain.
Schulte-Leech added that she’s bothered by a medical establishment that examines women with these symptoms and tells them everything looks normal without checking for tissue mobility. Doctors might recommend a new mother drink some wine or use more lubrication prior to intercourse, when there’s a physiological tweak that doesn’t allow the pelvic floor muscles to relax. Clients can come to see Schulte-Leech and “it usually takes just one session,” she said, before they’re on the road to recovery.
Jessica O’Leary is a gerontologist who discussed a client in his 70s who was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. He’d been acting inappropriately with some of his female caregivers. “What could have been construed as a perversion,” O’Leary explained, was in fact a behavior that masked “a need for more intimacy.” When the man’s wife began to spend more quality cuddling time with him, the behaviors disappeared.
We’re human and we come wired with a need for the warmth of intimate connection. “Hug your friends,” O’Leary encouraged the audience, “get regular massages.” As regards appropriate touch, she held up her hands, “get manicures and pedicures; listen to music, dance, light candles. Think about ambience. Get naked and hold each other. Flirt. Be playful.”
There was also talk about the challenges teenagers face today, with the preponderance of girls taking and posting objectifying selfies on social media, as well as gender identity issues, sexting, and the ready availability of pornography on the web. “We don’t learn how to drive by watching ‘The Fast and the Furious,’” Meisner cautioned the audience, and similarly, “We don’t learn to have sex by watching porn.”
Studies, Meisner continued, “have proven that the more parents talk to their kids about these topics, the more delayed their sexuality is.” She holds a globalized, “name it, don’t shame it,” attitude to all discussions about sex. She also argued that technology has influenced the younger generation’s ability to read emotional cues, with people staring at screens and phones instead of looking into each other’s eyes, where the truth is easy enough to read if you know how.
Meisner hosted the panel to answer any questions the public might have about her therapy practice, Intimate Inquiries, which is located on Second Avenue in Niwot.
Members of the audience said they’d come out to hear an open discussion on an important topic. Denver resident Mark Wiegers said he and his girlfriend, Dia Kline, thought it would be fun. “Straight up bald curiosity” is what brought them out, he said.
Wiegers’ verdict on the panel: “Not so dirty, but quite human.”
Writen by Pam Martin from the Left Hand Valley Courier
Sex & Death: Why So Taboo?
On a recent hike through the beautiful Rocky Mountains, I was shaken out of my sex-positive, sex-normalized bubble and reminded that sex and death are still considered taboo, unspeakable, outrageous and scandalous topics. I met several new friends who were intrigued to learn that I am a "Sex Therapist". The response I get when I add the descriptor "sex" in front of therapist, is wildly more reactive and interesting. When I simply say that I am a "Therapist, Psychotherapist, Couples Therapist, Marriage Therapist, Counselor, or even Head Shrinker", people nod and may inquire more but it is not the eye popping, panty twisting reaction when I dare say Sex Therapist! Dun Dun Dun
After the initial "sex therapy" shock dissipated, my new friends and I openly discussed topics of sex, death, parenting, love, adventure, work, travel, nature, and ego as we huffed and puffed up the vertical mountain.
How strange it is that two of the most natural topics in life are so difficult to discuss and left in the shadows.
Sigmund Freud based much of his work on his theory of "Drives" where he hypothesized that all instincts fall into one of two major categories, the life instincts and the death instincts.
"Life Instincts (Eros): Sometimes referred to as sexual instincts, are those that deal with basic survival, pleasure, and reproduction. These instincts are essential for sustaining the life of the individual as well as the continuation of the species. While they are often called sexual instincts, these drives also include such things as thirst, hunger, and pain avoidance. The energy created by the life instincts is known as libido. Behaviors commonly associated with the life instinct include love, cooperation and other prosocial actions.
Death Instincts (Thanatos)The concept of the death instincts was initially described in Freud's book Beyond the Pleasure Principle, in which he proposed that “the goal of all life is death” (1920). He noted that after people experience a traumatic event (such as war), they often reenact the experience. He concluded that people hold an unconscious desire to die, but that the life instincts largely temper this wish."
Quoted from VeryWell
Why are sex and death so taboo?
They symbolize two of the most transformative experiences humans undergo: the beginning of life/birth (a result of heterosexual intercourse), and the final exit/death. Sandwiched between these two enormous bookends is day-to-day life, where the majority of the western world's attention comfortably resides.
Sex: a wonderful, dangerous, connecting, painful, lovely, explosive, terrifying endeavor that can cause cosmic pleasure, induce traumatic pain, and result in new life.
Death: a confusing, painful, hard to comprehend, lonely, relief, take over of entropy, final goodbye (to our scientific knowledge, not taking spirituality, religion, or other post-death beliefs into account).
Why this long blog rant on two topics that make you squirm in your seat?
Because I'm a cruel and unusual, sex-crazed, death-obsessed, psychoanalytical sadist??? No not quite.
Because these topics weave through everyones life in some fashion and I truly believe (and the science backs me up) that we can navigate these issues more effectively and with higher quality of life if we can talk openly and comfortably about them.
Learning how to bring up hard topics in a calm and compassionate way is a invaluable skill. Soul-searching and examining one's own values and experiences around sex and death and considering new ways to put meaning to these topics are essential for leading a fulfilling and aware life. If you are reading this, you were clearly born, weather sex or science made you, you are here with us today and you will surely die. No one makes it out alive. What is on the other side? Perhaps we find out, perhaps we don't. What we do know, is that in this life we will experience death and quite likely, sex.
What would it be like to die in your own bed at home?
How would sex change if your told you partner what you liked and didn't like?
I want you to have a wonderful life, full of growth and self-discovery and the ability to talk comfortably about thorny topics so that you can experience pleasure and less anxiety. Give yourself a voice. Shed light on these amazing topics. How are they unique to you? How would you like your experience of these topics to be? How do you want to teach your children about these topics? Your lover? Your parents? Yourself?
Ask. Answer. Be honest. Be curious. Take a part in how you experience your life!
Mothers Of Boys:The Birds & Bees
It was such a pleasure to collaborate with Eileen & Sandi, the creators of the company Mothers of Boys, to present a special event regarding the "how to" tactics of having more comfortable and effective conversations with boys regarding sex, porn and much much more!
Here is a review of the event and Here for Photos.
A review of the topics covered:
If you have 3 or more sons (and no daughters) visit the MOB page to check out membership to this incredible group of women and attend educational and fun events hosted by the marvelous Eileen & Sandi.
To see pictures of the event taken by the talented Mellisa Hirsch, Click Here!
If you are interested in booking a workshop with me, please contact me here.
Boulder, Colorado 80304
376 2nd Ave Niwot Colorado 80503